August 18, 2008

Shannon: She’s like a year older than you.
Maria: She’s 17?
Shannon: A year OLDER.
Maria: OOOHHHH… 19!

August 15, 2008

Sasha: Yeah, you ice the SHIT out of that latte!

June 26, 2008

[at the Matt Good concert]
Ben: He needs to have my babies. 2 of them. But just 2, cuz then it’s kinda gay.

June 21, 2008

Daphne: You should go to massage school. Not because you need to, but just so you can show off.

June 13, 2008

Tynan: Devon, you’re so in the closet
Shannon: Closet? It’s like a screen door!

May 28, 2008

[Random guy comes into Blenz on 6th and 6th]
Guy: Is there a forest around here?

May 23, 2008

Martha: It annoys me to tiny bits of deathdust that drift off in a cosmic wind and land on the planet of Death in the galaxy of Annoyed. [about people who tYpE lIkE tHiS]

[Text from Martha]
“Quote of the day: I busted my knee playing rugby. Thank god I have a PhD to fall back on!”
- SFU Chem prof

May 20, 2008

[over text]
Chuck: I put tinfoil over my window so I can sleep better.
Shannon: No, it’s so the aliens can’t read your mind.
Chuck: That’s a side benefit.
Shannon: Lol. A wee bit paranoid after 5 stars?
Chuck: I can hear the helicopter! It’s still there!
Shannon: They put a tracking bug on you. If your altitude goes above a certain level, you explode.

May 17, 2008

One-Liner Saturday:

Danielle: I go down hard.

Shannon: The crunchy ones are way better.

Danielle: YOU CORRUPTED THE DEAF GUY!

Cory: A helicopter? Is that five Stars?
[simultaneously, on the ground below:]
John: A fucking helicopter? That’s five Stars!

[Everything in life can be related back to either Simpsons or GTA. Sometimes both.]

May 12, 2008

[in my building you can hear everything that goes on outside. People having dinner...]

Guy: Don’t worry, GTA taught me how to hotwire.