November 30, 2005

Greg: If any harsh Christians show up, we’re a group of gay witches who are pro-abortion.

“Guidelines for Open Mic:

• No sexism
• No racism
• No violence
• No profanity
• No nudity”

Everyone: IT’S A CHECKLIST!

Stasia: *on phone* Are you sleeping with him again?!
Anne: WHAT?!
Stasia: Oh, Sam’s sleeping with Steve again.

Gordie: *shows off his tattoo*
Anne: Oh, where did you get those done?
Gordie: My friend’s.
Anne: Oh, guitar string and walkman motor.
Gordie: Yeah.
Anne: My husband got some of those done.
Gordie: Jail?

Greg: There was a tribe of Jews…

November 19, 2005

Andrea: Should I pull out the bed?
Brittany: That would be a lot of work!
Amber: To move a little side table?!
Brittany: To move the whole bed!
Shannon: The PULL OUT bed.

Amber: It’s a tit nipply out, I breast be going inside, I must have an ear in-fuck-tion from too much screw-ba diving.

November 13, 2005

Madelaine (about her fish): I think he’s in heat… or wants to fuck little girls.

Madelaine: Are you horny?
Stasia: Stop hitting on your fish.

Madelaine: How can you be hot AND fat?
Stasia: There’s gotta be a way.

Stasia: *spills pasta in the sink* ah, shit.
Madelaine: What?!
Stasia: I killed you.
Rachel: Madelaine’s dead?

Ryon (Madelaine’s next-dorm-neighbour): What’s an “Eath”
Madelaine: A place in the world.

Shannon: How does he spell his name?
Stasia & Madelaine: With an “O.”
Shannon: What a fucktard.
Madelaine: *fits of laughter*

Stasia: Can we throw alcohol at his door?
Madelaine: Why would you waste alcohol?!
Stasia: Then we could set it on fire!

November 12, 2005

Stasia: Now we just need some plates.
Shannon: *pulls two bowls out of cupboard*
Stasia: That’ll work.
Shannon: *dances*
Stasia: Did you just do a bowl dance?
Shannon: …yes.
Stasia: That’s beautiful.

Shannon: This is a college dorm. They must have ketchup. *opens fridge* …they don’t have ketchup.

Stasia: I almost molested him with my leg.
Madelaine: You blessed him with your leg?!

Stasia: I’ll go get more pop in a minute, it’s pretty strong. *leaves… returns…* You drank it!
Shannon: Yeah, well…

Rachel: Why am I so… fucking… electric?!

November 11, 2005

Madelaine: Stasia is as left handed as the day is gay.

Ben (Rachel’s brother): Ethiopian people are BEASTS.

Some random dude we passed on the street: The Aryan race… the MASTER race.

Madelaine: You say it like “eh.” It has to flow with the sentence.
Ben: eehhh?
Shannon: You’re saying it wrong! Damn Americans.

November 10, 2005

Stasia: “Meadow in the Sky” that’s a beautiful name.
Shannon: That’s where cows go to die.

Shannon: *laughing hysterically* Who gave me sugar?! Was it you?!