July 20, 2006

Matt Suto (over MSN): So you mean my blood alcohol level was higher than your GPA?

July 14, 2006

Ben A: First of all, we’re not cannibals, WE’RE JEWISH.

July 13, 2006

Ben A: That’s not cute, that’s practical!
[I said it was cute that he shops with his sister]

July 10, 2006 – Camping Day 4 (Last Day)

Shannon: *sings* Secret Asian Ben, Secret Asian Ben!
Ben L: What now, Shannon?! Now you’re gonna say I’m a secret agent and I can store top secret documents in my ass to sneak across the border?! HUH?!? SAY IT!
Shannon: Well, you said it for me.

July 09, 2006 – Camping Day 3

Ben L: Crapping in a pendulum.  If I took a shit right now, I’d FLY outta here.

Stasia: Ben, we’ve already gone over this. I take it like a man, you take it like a metrosexual.

Stasia: Ben, you cannot have any more of my food unless you take a shit. YOU ARE CUT OFF.

Ben L: SHIT IN A BUN.

(Side note, Ben L didn’t crap the whole camping trip. He made the mistake of telling me this when we were 3 days in. I didn’t let it go. Like he should have.)

Gordie: I gotta get rid of this boner, I can’t walk anymore!
Ben A: Thank god, a Claire’s!

Lisa: There is a mosquito bite in the crack of my ass.
Ben L: …did you want the AfterBite?

Ben L: SO THAT’S MY SUPER POWER. I INSPIRE BOWEL MOVEMENTS!
Stasia: You should go work in a old folks home.
[after 7 people go poo to spite Ben.]

*talking about female condom*
Gordie: Ahh, stop, my cervix is hurting!

Shannon: Why is it so cold out here?
Ben L: Well, that’s because you just had sex.
Ori: It was really quiet in there… you must have been really disappointed.

July 08, 2006 – Camping Day 2

Ben L: That’s not even coin slot, that’s coin purse!

Kayla: I take my pill at 11:11.
Shannon: I make a wish at 11:11.
Kayla: So do I — don’t get pregnant.

July 07, 2006 – Camping Day 1

Ben L: It all started when Ryan rubbed himself vigorously.

Ben L: Ori, you didn’t know what you were in for when you crawled into my sleeping bag, did you?