March 28, 2007

Len Millis: Nobody wants to fool around with a guy with no fingers. Fingers are important.
[about brachydactyly]

March 27, 2007

Paul O’Connor: It’s an electrophile. “Phile”, as in loving. Like… I can only think of dirty examples.

March 24, 2007

Ben L: *about Sears* I’ve never seen so many beds in one place. And I’ve been to Sleep Country!

Shannon: *driving* Bastard passing me. You know he’s a gangster cuz he’s got writing on his car. I only get one letter. N. James only gets one letter, too. L. What happened to M?
Ben: It’s for crazy people.
Shannon: *nearly fails at driving while laughing hysterically*

Shannon: Look at the gas gauge!
James: OH MY GOD! IT’S OUT OF THE RED!
[my dad's car has a faulty gas gauge that always tells us it's almost empty. I put $15 bucks of gas in the car and the needle went as high as either of us had ever seen it in the 10+ years of having the car]

March 15, 2007

Charlene: *about Ben A* No, Ben’s a good guy. He’s Jewish… he only killed the Lord.

March 05, 2007

Paul O’Connor: Radioactive… so don’t put it on your Wheaties.