March 28, 2008

Ben: If it makes you feel any better, yours is the only XBOX I’ve had my dick in.

March 27, 2008

Kristin Wagner: Drugs are easy to get. You don’t always need a prescription. Sometimes you just need a credit card. Or a good contact.

March 26, 2008

Allan Majdanac: Some of you have a TI Business calculator. You’ll notice there’s no reciprocal trig function button. You, are SCREWED. Get a new calculator!

March 04, 2008

[guy walking behind me and Cory talking on his phone]

Dude: You sound like you’re at home eating celery like a brontosaurus.