May 28, 2008

[Random guy comes into Blenz on 6th and 6th]
Guy: Is there a forest around here?

May 23, 2008

Martha: It annoys me to tiny bits of deathdust that drift off in a cosmic wind and land on the planet of Death in the galaxy of Annoyed. [about people who tYpE lIkE tHiS]

[Text from Martha]
“Quote of the day: I busted my knee playing rugby. Thank god I have a PhD to fall back on!”
- SFU Chem prof

May 20, 2008

[over text]
Chuck: I put tinfoil over my window so I can sleep better.
Shannon: No, it’s so the aliens can’t read your mind.
Chuck: That’s a side benefit.
Shannon: Lol. A wee bit paranoid after 5 stars?
Chuck: I can hear the helicopter! It’s still there!
Shannon: They put a tracking bug on you. If your altitude goes above a certain level, you explode.

May 17, 2008

One-Liner Saturday:

Danielle: I go down hard.

Shannon: The crunchy ones are way better.

Danielle: YOU CORRUPTED THE DEAF GUY!

Cory: A helicopter? Is that five Stars?
[simultaneously, on the ground below:]
John: A fucking helicopter? That’s five Stars!

[Everything in life can be related back to either Simpsons or GTA. Sometimes both.]

May 12, 2008

[in my building you can hear everything that goes on outside. People having dinner...]

Guy: Don’t worry, GTA taught me how to hotwire.

May 08, 2008

Cory: I think I hung up on a deaf person today.
Ben: What business do they have calling you?

[Avril Lavigne song comes on at BP]
Ben: They should have Avril on Rockband.
Chuck: I’d buy that.
Ben: Yeah, 4 people would. You and 3 13-year-old girls.
Cory: No, 2 13-year old girls and someone who bought it by accident.
Ben: Yeah, “Dude, you have Avril Lavigne on your Rockband!” “FUCK OFF!”

Ben: I’ve been watching movies with Chloe lately. She tends to run away though, and lick her bum.
Chuck: [gives Ben a weird look]
Ben: She’s a CAT.

Chuck: When’s the next Rockband night?
Shannon: Saturday?
Chuck: Can’t, that’s the big sex party at my house.
Ben: What about SexBand? I just won’t have sex with anything red or green.
Chuck: Orange and blue are okay though?
Ben: Yeah, blue could be for autoerotic asphyxiation.
Shannon: I think I’m going to move up to the next level… upgrade to Hard.
Ben: I’m still a fan of Easy, myself.

May 06, 2008

Cory: [over text] How huge? 90% of my stuff fits in the closet… just need a lil one… u know, for guns and hooker bodies.

[in response to me telling him my friend has a huge dresser she's getting rid of... I lol'd on a bus at this]