July 14, 2006

Ben A: First of all, we’re not cannibals, WE’RE JEWISH.

July 13, 2006

Ben A: That’s not cute, that’s practical!
[I said it was cute that he shops with his sister]

July 09, 2006 – Camping Day 3

Ben L: Crapping in a pendulum.  If I took a shit right now, I’d FLY outta here.

Stasia: Ben, we’ve already gone over this. I take it like a man, you take it like a metrosexual.

Stasia: Ben, you cannot have any more of my food unless you take a shit. YOU ARE CUT OFF.

Ben L: SHIT IN A BUN.

(Side note, Ben L didn’t crap the whole camping trip. He made the mistake of telling me this when we were 3 days in. I didn’t let it go. Like he should have.)

Gordie: I gotta get rid of this boner, I can’t walk anymore!
Ben A: Thank god, a Claire’s!

Lisa: There is a mosquito bite in the crack of my ass.
Ben L: …did you want the AfterBite?

Ben L: SO THAT’S MY SUPER POWER. I INSPIRE BOWEL MOVEMENTS!
Stasia: You should go work in a old folks home.
[after 7 people go poo to spite Ben.]

*talking about female condom*
Gordie: Ahh, stop, my cervix is hurting!

Shannon: Why is it so cold out here?
Ben L: Well, that’s because you just had sex.
Ori: It was really quiet in there… you must have been really disappointed.

June 23, 2006

Ben A: Know what would suck? Having an 8-and-a-half inch penis, but it only being a centimeter around. It’s like a chopstick!

June 05, 2006 – Soup Party

Ben L: Well, walking is more of a chore than it used to be. [after chugging wine]

Ben A: One banana? That’s not even fun!

Shannon: The floor’s gonna be so drunk!

Shannon: HITLER DIDN’T DRIVE A JETTA!

April 27, 2006

Ben A: Word to your bagel.