October 16, 2007

[text]
Ben: That’s right. I went there. And applied for citizenship. To Racistland.

October 07, 2007

Ben: Justin just told me that rewriting “Finding Nemo” to work in Iraq might be worth looking into.

Ben: “Saving Private Nemo”: The Tragic True Story of a Gimped Clownfish Trapped Behind Enemy Lines.

Ben:  You think if I’m writing a book about POW fish, eating in sushi restaurants might be considered a legitimate tax write-off?

Shannon: Ben says Happy Thanksgiving.
Dad: Tell Ben Happy Capitalist Reflection on Family.
Ben: [text] Tell him that’s not what Thanksgiving is all about. It’s REALLY about killing Indians and being thankful that they’re just so damn easy to loot.

September 29, 2007

[while watching Knocked Up]
Shannon: What’s the baby’s name? Why don’t they tell us the name?!
Ben: Name the baby.
Shannon: …Amanda Liann.
Ben: Amanda Liann Stone. Yes.
Shannon: But I wouldn’t name my baby that.
Ben: What, a name you come up with during the closing credits of Knocked Up isn’t good enough for your baby?
Shannon: Exactly.

September 27, 2007

Ben: You are my egg.
Shannon: You are my twinkie… wait, *concerned* do you want to be a banana?

[me and Ben decided that a white person who is Asian on the inside is called an egg. I am more Asian than he is because I can write programs on my graphing calculator.]

September 16, 2007

[over text]
Shannon: Jorah is in the paper
Ben: How do you know these things?
Shannon: …I’m reading the paper?
Ben: …and?
Shannon: and it’s about him getting stabbed, and instead of finding God he found Film.

September 10, 2007 – Roadtrip back to Canada

Ben: You there! FUCK OFF!

*now as demonstrated by David Tennant 

September 07, 2007 – Roadtrip to Seattle

Shannon: I think my favourite gear is neutral.

Ben: Worst. Movie. Ever. [after my car broke down on the I-5]

July 12, 2007

Ben: I can’t believe you didn’t eat your weiner skin!

July 09, 2007

Ben: But the meniscus of the water is what separates them from us! [about poo]

July 07, 2007 – Camping Day 2

Peter: My girlfriend thinks I’m charming.
Ryan: She hasn’t met Corey

Ben: I’m from out of town, can I be inside you?

Ben: When his wife left, she took the kids. (about our park ranger)

Robin: Kayla, you’re totally laying the mack on Ori. “Rub me off, Ori!”
Kayla: I’M ASKING ORI TO RUB ME OFF!