Madelaine (about her fish): I think he’s in heat… or wants to fuck little girls.

Madelaine: Are you horny?
Stasia: Stop hitting on your fish.

Madelaine: How can you be hot AND fat?
Stasia: There’s gotta be a way.

Stasia: *spills pasta in the sink* ah, shit.
Madelaine: What?!
Stasia: I killed you.
Rachel: Madelaine’s dead?

Ryon (Madelaine’s next-dorm-neighbour): What’s an “Eath”
Madelaine: A place in the world.

Shannon: How does he spell his name?
Stasia & Madelaine: With an “O.”
Shannon: What a fucktard.
Madelaine: *fits of laughter*

Stasia: Can we throw alcohol at his door?
Madelaine: Why would you waste alcohol?!
Stasia: Then we could set it on fire!

Stasia: Now we just need some plates.
Shannon: *pulls two bowls out of cupboard*
Stasia: That’ll work.
Shannon: *dances*
Stasia: Did you just do a bowl dance?
Shannon: …yes.
Stasia: That’s beautiful.

Shannon: This is a college dorm. They must have ketchup. *opens fridge* …they don’t have ketchup.

Stasia: I almost molested him with my leg.
Madelaine: You blessed him with your leg?!

Stasia: I’ll go get more pop in a minute, it’s pretty strong. *leaves… returns…* You drank it!
Shannon: Yeah, well…

Rachel: Why am I so… fucking… electric?!

Madelaine: Stasia is as left handed as the day is gay.

Ben (Rachel’s brother): Ethiopian people are BEASTS.

Some random dude we passed on the street: The Aryan race… the MASTER race.

Madelaine: You say it like “eh.” It has to flow with the sentence.
Ben: eehhh?
Shannon: You’re saying it wrong! Damn Americans.

Stasia: “Meadow in the Sky” that’s a beautiful name.
Shannon: That’s where cows go to die.

Shannon: *laughing hysterically* Who gave me sugar?! Was it you?!