Kayla: I have dust in my crotch, motor oil on my chest. I’m a mess!
Shannon: Kayla’s a real woman.

Kayla: You going somewhere?
Tristan: Nope, just so my stuff is all right here.
Shannon: Gearing up?
Tylas: In case there’s a war.
[Tristan came camping in full camo and utility vest. I refer to him as "Stargate Boy."]

Peter: My girlfriend thinks I’m charming.
Ryan: She hasn’t met Corey

Ben: I’m from out of town, can I be inside you?

Ben: When his wife left, she took the kids. (about our park ranger)

Robin: Kayla, you’re totally laying the mack on Ori. “Rub me off, Ori!”
Kayla: I’M ASKING ORI TO RUB ME OFF!

Kayla: He’s a polyp!

Kayla: Get up out of my grill, BITCH! I don’t even want you in my dreadlocks. *kills mosquito*

Ori: Lungs of SATAN

Kayla: Put your manliness away. (to Tylas)
Ben: I think it should be ‘boyliness’ til 18.
Kayla: He is 18.
Ben: Negate all!

Ryan: If Corey does it, he’s a player. If Josh does it, he’s a pervert.

Shannon: Do you crumple or fold?
Ben: I’m a folder.
Corey: Can we not talk about this?

Robin: Does anyone have a calculator?
Ben: What do you need to calculate?
Robin: Math.

Corey: I Know What You Pearce’d Last Summer

Kayla (to Robin): You should never have a kid like Danny. Abort! Abort!

Shannon: I have love handles.
Laurel: Heh, I have love cupboards.
Jason: Come on in to the love pantry.
Shannon: A pantry with sex toys!
Jason: Big enough for two!

Amber: Heh, Fraser has no comeback to that.
Fraser: …if I wanted my come back I’d wipe it off your chin!
Everyone: OHHHHH!!!!

Fraser is drunk.
Amber: Spell Fraser.
Fraser: F-R-A-S-E-R.
Amber: Okay, spell Davies.
Fraser: D-A-V-I-E-S-E-R.
Everyone: What! That’s not right!
Fraser: Yes it is!
[he got to the end and forgot he was spelling his last name instead of his first]

Jason: *impersonating Russel Peters* Yo mudda sooooo feh, da wen she jump fo joyyyy… she geh stuk… ohhkey tenk yuu.

Shannon: *gets up to get water, tries to sit down and nearly falls in the fire* THIS IS ME TRYING TO BE NOT DRUNK!

Fraser: Mark, stop, I’m scared!

Shannon: *sings* Secret Asian Ben, Secret Asian Ben!
Ben L: What now, Shannon?! Now you’re gonna say I’m a secret agent and I can store top secret documents in my ass to sneak across the border?! HUH?!? SAY IT!
Shannon: Well, you said it for me.

Ben L: Crapping in a pendulum.  If I took a shit right now, I’d FLY outta here.

Stasia: Ben, we’ve already gone over this. I take it like a man, you take it like a metrosexual.

Stasia: Ben, you cannot have any more of my food unless you take a shit. YOU ARE CUT OFF.

Ben L: SHIT IN A BUN.

(Side note, Ben L didn’t crap the whole camping trip. He made the mistake of telling me this when we were 3 days in. I didn’t let it go. Like he should have.)

Gordie: I gotta get rid of this boner, I can’t walk anymore!
Ben A: Thank god, a Claire’s!

Lisa: There is a mosquito bite in the crack of my ass.
Ben L: …did you want the AfterBite?

Ben L: SO THAT’S MY SUPER POWER. I INSPIRE BOWEL MOVEMENTS!
Stasia: You should go work in a old folks home.
[after 7 people go poo to spite Ben.]

*talking about female condom*
Gordie: Ahh, stop, my cervix is hurting!

Shannon: Why is it so cold out here?
Ben L: Well, that’s because you just had sex.
Ori: It was really quiet in there… you must have been really disappointed.

Ben L: That’s not even coin slot, that’s coin purse!

Kayla: I take my pill at 11:11.
Shannon: I make a wish at 11:11.
Kayla: So do I — don’t get pregnant.

Ben L: It all started when Ryan rubbed himself vigorously.

Ben L: Ori, you didn’t know what you were in for when you crawled into my sleeping bag, did you?

Jason: If she’s comfortable enough when she’s sleeping to drool, it makes me happy.

Kayla: You know you need water in that.
Jason: *looks in pot* Why?

Kayla: I love romantic drooling.

Gordie: I found it, I scavengered it!

Kayla: Don’t pluck no dog!

Robin: Dog fur… oh there’s that little mutt back there!

Timmy: Next item, a feather.
Gordie: We can pluck Robin!
Timmy: That’s not a feather!
Jason: IT’S PLUMAGE!

Jason: We screw you, Tim, because we love you.
Stasia: No, that’s Kayla.

Timmy: *as Mishka* Ahh I’m hit! Bloody Germans!

Madelaine: *sings Butterfly*
Timmy: This has nothing to do with insects.

Gordie: *raps Onslaught*
Madelaine: That’s grody.

Madelaine: God, you’re such a woman! You’re worse than a woman, you’re a Mishka!

Robin: Snog, S-G-N-O-G.

Shannon: Robin, are you eating a pack of sugar?
Robin: They didn’t give me a mint.

*guy sneezes*
Shannon: Bless you!
Stasia: I don’t think he heard you.
Shannon: Watch it be a camp full of satanists and they come and kick my ass.

Timmy: You can get 2L of pop for a dollar *interjecting during a conversation about buying alcohol*

Kayla: Prep, freak, goth, gangsta, punk, artist, or hamster — I mean musician.

Stasia: As long as he doesn’t set you on fire!

*dude comes over to our campsite*
Dude: Smoke? Bud? Beer?
Shannon: It’s on the way.
Stasia: WITH OUR BOYFRIENDS!