Charlene: Oh sorry, my tits hit your face. Can we go on a date?

[over text]
Shannon: DO. HER.
Ben: IN. RENO.
Shannon: WHO. CARES.
Ben: MY. WALLET.
Shannon: ROB. BANK.
Ben: BUT. COPS.
Shannon: SELL. KIDNEY.
Ben: BUT. BLEEDING!
Shannon: EASY. MONEY.
Ben: EARLY! DEATH!
Shannon: EXPENDABLE. ORGAN.
Ben: I’M. ATTACHED.
Shannon: BUT. HER.
Ben: SHE’LL. UNDERSTAND.
Shannon: NUH. UH.
Ben: WHY. NOT?!?
Shannon: SHE’S. AMERICAN.
Ben: I’M. GORGEOUS.
Shannon: YOU. ARE.
Ben: CASE. CLOSED.
Shannon: NO. WAY.
Ben: BITE. ME.

Charlene: *about Ben A* No, Ben’s a good guy. He’s Jewish… he only killed the Lord.

Shannon: *catches chocolate egg out of the air* I’m the master. I caught it in the air, yo.
Jess: You said “yo.”
Shannon: I know.
Jess: That’s hot. It worked. And you’re still white.

Shannon: YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK BEER WITH YOUR CUNT.
Charlene: I wish they’d told me that earlier!

Charlene: It’s the sex withdrawal… everything but fish.