One-Liner Saturday:
Danielle: I go down hard.
Shannon: The crunchy ones are way better.
Danielle: YOU CORRUPTED THE DEAF GUY!
Cory: A helicopter? Is that five Stars?
[simultaneously, on the ground below:]
John: A fucking helicopter? That’s five Stars!
[Everything in life can be related back to either Simpsons or GTA. Sometimes both.]
Cory: I think I hung up on a deaf person today.
Ben: What business do they have calling you?
[Avril Lavigne song comes on at BP]
Ben: They should have Avril on Rockband.
Chuck: I’d buy that.
Ben: Yeah, 4 people would. You and 3 13-year-old girls.
Cory: No, 2 13-year old girls and someone who bought it by accident.
Ben: Yeah, “Dude, you have Avril Lavigne on your Rockband!” “FUCK OFF!”
Ben: I’ve been watching movies with Chloe lately. She tends to run away though, and lick her bum.
Chuck: [gives Ben a weird look]
Ben: She’s a CAT.
Chuck: When’s the next Rockband night?
Shannon: Saturday?
Chuck: Can’t, that’s the big sex party at my house.
Ben: What about SexBand? I just won’t have sex with anything red or green.
Chuck: Orange and blue are okay though?
Ben: Yeah, blue could be for autoerotic asphyxiation.
Shannon: I think I’m going to move up to the next level… upgrade to Hard.
Ben: I’m still a fan of Easy, myself.
Cory: [over text] How huge? 90% of my stuff fits in the closet… just need a lil one… u know, for guns and hooker bodies.
[in response to me telling him my friend has a huge dresser she's getting rid of... I lol'd on a bus at this]
Candace: Wow, Cory, you’re not just a pretty face!
Cory: It’s true, I have pieces of paper that say so.
Candace: “Not Just A Pretty Face.”
Cory: Yeah, they don’t say “Degree” they say “Not Just a Pretty Face.”
[over text]
Shannon: My friend lives on the opposite side of England from London…
Cory: That’s like a 2 min drive… England is the size of Metrotown
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