Dad: I put a potato in the dishwasher.
Shannon: …
Dad: To see if it would cook.
[I couldn't stop laughing]

[over Facebook]
Alex: YOU ARE MY FAVORITE ALSO!!!! hahahaha i throw thigns…
Shannon: lol COMPUTER TO THE FACE!
Alex: hahahaha
Shannon: We need to hangzorz soon
Alex: i agreeith…..AGREE LIKE A FOX! *runs and hides in the corner*
Shannon: TO THE TARDIS!
Alex : lol……. yes. that should be my car’s name. secret awesome name. TARDIS. i will call it that and only you and me would get it…
Shannon: YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! it’s blue! but you can’t call it the CARDIS. that’s lame.

Ben: Justin just told me that rewriting “Finding Nemo” to work in Iraq might be worth looking into.

Ben: “Saving Private Nemo”: The Tragic True Story of a Gimped Clownfish Trapped Behind Enemy Lines.

Ben:  You think if I’m writing a book about POW fish, eating in sushi restaurants might be considered a legitimate tax write-off?

Shannon: Ben says Happy Thanksgiving.
Dad: Tell Ben Happy Capitalist Reflection on Family.
Ben: [text] Tell him that’s not what Thanksgiving is all about. It’s REALLY about killing Indians and being thankful that they’re just so damn easy to loot.