July 09, 2006 – Camping Day 3

Ben L: Crapping in a pendulum.  If I took a shit right now, I’d FLY outta here.

Stasia: Ben, we’ve already gone over this. I take it like a man, you take it like a metrosexual.

Stasia: Ben, you cannot have any more of my food unless you take a shit. YOU ARE CUT OFF.

Ben L: SHIT IN A BUN.

(Side note, Ben L didn’t crap the whole camping trip. He made the mistake of telling me this when we were 3 days in. I didn’t let it go. Like he should have.)

Gordie: I gotta get rid of this boner, I can’t walk anymore!
Ben A: Thank god, a Claire’s!

Lisa: There is a mosquito bite in the crack of my ass.
Ben L: …did you want the AfterBite?

Ben L: SO THAT’S MY SUPER POWER. I INSPIRE BOWEL MOVEMENTS!
Stasia: You should go work in a old folks home.
[after 7 people go poo to spite Ben.]

*talking about female condom*
Gordie: Ahh, stop, my cervix is hurting!

Shannon: Why is it so cold out here?
Ben L: Well, that’s because you just had sex.
Ori: It was really quiet in there… you must have been really disappointed.

June 24, 2006

Gordie: Just fuckin’ punch her!

Shannon: Haha, penis face.
Ben L: Penis, I have one of those.
Ori: ME TOO!
Gordie: I don’t… *looks down pants* wait, I think I do…
Ben L: Hang on, Ori has a penis?
Ori: Shelby knows.
Ben L: Do you hide it inside?
Ori: LIKE A DOG!

Robin: Timmy, are you going to release your inner Mishka?

Timmy: What do you mean that’s one of yours? You’ve had way more fucking than me. [about his booze]

June 02, 2006 – YAM JAM

Shannon: Benalley’s 21!
Kayla: That’s older than all of us combined!
Ben L: He’s a GEEZER! Shannon, you’re SICK!

Robin: She’s not stupid.
Gordie: Yes she is, she has a beard.

Kayla: Seriously, it’s like marrying a fetus.

December 13, 2005

Gordie: *spin-kicks a pole* Ow!
Robin: Why do you do these things to yourself?!
Gordie: *in pain* because I’m a NINJA.

November 30, 2005

Greg: If any harsh Christians show up, we’re a group of gay witches who are pro-abortion.

“Guidelines for Open Mic:

• No sexism
• No racism
• No violence
• No profanity
• No nudity”

Everyone: IT’S A CHECKLIST!

Stasia: *on phone* Are you sleeping with him again?!
Anne: WHAT?!
Stasia: Oh, Sam’s sleeping with Steve again.

Gordie: *shows off his tattoo*
Anne: Oh, where did you get those done?
Gordie: My friend’s.
Anne: Oh, guitar string and walkman motor.
Gordie: Yeah.
Anne: My husband got some of those done.
Gordie: Jail?

Greg: There was a tribe of Jews…

July 23, 2005

Jason: If she’s comfortable enough when she’s sleeping to drool, it makes me happy.

Kayla: You know you need water in that.
Jason: *looks in pot* Why?

Kayla: I love romantic drooling.

Gordie: I found it, I scavengered it!

Kayla: Don’t pluck no dog!

Robin: Dog fur… oh there’s that little mutt back there!

Timmy: Next item, a feather.
Gordie: We can pluck Robin!
Timmy: That’s not a feather!
Jason: IT’S PLUMAGE!

Jason: We screw you, Tim, because we love you.
Stasia: No, that’s Kayla.

Timmy: *as Mishka* Ahh I’m hit! Bloody Germans!

Madelaine: *sings Butterfly*
Timmy: This has nothing to do with insects.

Gordie: *raps Onslaught*
Madelaine: That’s grody.

Madelaine: God, you’re such a woman! You’re worse than a woman, you’re a Mishka!

Robin: Snog, S-G-N-O-G.

Shannon: Robin, are you eating a pack of sugar?
Robin: They didn’t give me a mint.